Heartbreak & Healing
by ElliotNOliviaSVULover
Summary: Just when she thinks her heart can't break anymore can he come along and heal things?


I told you all I had another little gift of a story for you tonight. Here it is. 

This is for Laura for getting me to write something today and because we NEED this now! 

As with so many of my other stories, this one was purely controlled by the plot bunnies in my head. I had no plan for it, and really didn't think it through as I was writing it. I just let it flow. It basically picks up where we are in Season 9, with one minor adjustment. I just can't get that girl out of my mind ;-) ENJOY! And as always, please R&R! 

**DISCLAIMER: **If they were mine, Season 9 never would've happened the way it did.

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Rolling over in bed my hands came in contact with his hard chest. Needing more than just to have him hold me in his arms I left myself up on one elbow so that I can reach to start trailing kisses down his chest. Lower and lower I go until I'm nearing his navel. It's then that he starts stirring. 

"Baby, what're you doing?" He asks me, his voice husky and still full of sleep. 

"I want to taste you." I tell him. "I need to."

I continue my journey and soon I've reached the waistband of his black boxer briefs. This won't do at all I need them out of my way. I raise myself up so that my legs are tucked under me and supporting my weight before taking both hands and starting to remove his underwear. It's at this time that he really notices that I had gone to bed naked the night before. My body's glistening mildly from the heat of my need for him and he takes his hands, grabs my arms, and lays me back down in my bed. 

"Now why did you go and do that?" I ask. "Don't you want me to taste you?" I stick my bottom lip out in a pout. 

"Oh I want you alright." He answers. "But you're the one who's going to be sampled tonight."

Before I knew it he's got his mouth on me. Slowly he's kissing from my left thigh inward, stopping to skip over my core, then proceeding outward across my right thigh. Sensing just what his actions are doing to me he does it again in reverse. This time though, he pauses for a brief moment over my hot wet core and inhales deeply. 

"You smell so good baby. Shall we see if you taste as sweet?" He looks up and asks me. 

I'm mesmerized by his eyes which have grown darker in color before suddenly they are gone. As I glance down I'm now met with the sight of the top of his head as he slowly begins parting my folds with his tongue. When he reaches my sensitive nub he draws it to his mouth and lavishes his attention on pleasuring me. 

"Mmm…that feels so good." I moan. 

Upon hearing my response he maneuvers us so that he can slide two of his big long fingers in me while still keeping up his ministrations. Thrusting his fingers in time with the flicks of his tongue, he's soon coaxing my orgasm from me. 

"El…oh God…El!" I call out as my orgasm washes over me. 

Just as I'm at the peak of my pleasure my phone starts ringing. In an instant my eyes fly open as I grab the cell phone off my nightstand. 

"Fuck!" I mumble to myself as I flip open the phone. 

It was all a dream. A hot and heavy trick being played on me by my own mind. 

"Benson." I growl in the phone, now frustrated as hell. 

"_Liv?"_

"Yes?"

"_It's me."_

Me who? Instantly I begin racking my brain trying to figure out who this 'me' is. It's definitely not one of the guys. Doesn't sound like Casey either. My mind starts running through all the victims I've given my number to. No, I don't think it's any of them either. Suddenly it hits me. No fucking way! It's been three years, but now that I think about it that voice is unmistakable. 

"Alex?" I whisper. 

"_Yeah, guess what? I'm coming home!" _She says. 

"Oh my God, Al that's great!" I exclaim. 

"_I'm actually due to fly in this afternoon. I was sort of hoping you and El could come pick me up."_

Yeah, about that, I have no idea what to tell her. I can't lie to my best friend, but ever since the accident and Eli's birth I've barely seen the man. She sounds so excited to see us though. Before I know it the words are out of my mouth though. 

"Sure hon, what time?"

"_2:30pm, United flight 1779, I'll meet you guys at baggage check." _She tells me. 

"Great, see you then!" I say before ending the call. 

Great is right. I know you're wondering how it's possible that I barely see the man. We do still work together, but apparently he felt he needed some time off after Eli was born and has been on vacation the past few weeks. Other than those damn dreams I have every night I haven't seen or heard from him since. 

As I'm contemplating what to say to him my stomach starts growling. I get up out of bed and head for the kitchen to look for something suitable for breakfast. Settling on a poptart I pop that in the toaster before starting on my coffee. Within a few minutes breakfast is ready and I'm walking it in to the living room to eat. After polishing off my food I glance at the clock and decide I'd better start trying to get a hold of Elliot before we end up late to get Alex. 

I walk back to my bedroom, climb under the covers, and take my cell phone off the nightstand again. I flip it open, hit speed dial 1, and wait for him to answer. Almost immediately his voicemail picks up. 

"_You've reached SVU Detective Elliot Stabler. If this is an emergency please call the precinct at 555-0182. Otherwise please leave a message."_

Just as the annoying little beep sounds I flip my phone shut. Even better, now I get to call him at home. The thought alone has me rolling my eyes. Again I open my phone only this time I dial Elliot's home number. 

One ring, two rings, three, four. Finally just when I expect the answering machine there's an answer. 

"_Stabler Residence," _the voice says out of breath. 

"May I please speak to Elliot?" I ask, opting to play it sweet and polite. 

"_He's umm...he's uh…b…busy." _Kathy tells me. 

I'm just about to ask her to have him call me when I hear it. That was clearly a moan of pleasure. Shit! Quick as can be I flip my phone shut and end the call. 

It figures he'd spend his vacation procreating. Why not? The man has his wife back now why not knock her up another time. Go for number six while they're still young enough. 

Looks like it will be just me picking up Alex this afternoon. Oh well! Not much I can do about that. 

An hour before I'm supposed to be to the airport, having showered and dressed, I gather up my purse, keys, gun, and badge and head out the door. Hey you never know when you'll need them. The whole ride there my mind is being taken over by thoughts of Elliot and I. This is why I can't be left alone with nothing to do. My mind wanders to dangerous places. 

Soon I'm pulling in the lot at the airport and am walking inside. I make a stop at the monitors on the wall and find the appropriate baggage claim carousel that corresponds with Alex's flight number. Five minutes, at most, later I see her walking towards me. 

"Liv! I have missed you guys so much." She says as she pulls me into a hug. 

"We've missed you too." I tell her. 

"Where's El?" She asks. 

"Home fucking his wife senseless" I respond bitterly. 

Way to be blunt there Benson, she'll never suspect anything now. 

"I see. I always got this vibe something would go wrong between them. Looks like I was wrong."

Before I continue the conversation I take her bags and we head to the car. Once we're both settled in and I'm heading towards the diner I speak again. 

"It did. They were separated for a while. Almost divorced actually," I tell her. 

"I'm lost then, almost?"

I take in a big breath of air and let it out as slowly as I can. 

"He took a case we had really hard, went home to her almost a year ago. Little Eli, Elliot JR, is just about three months old now." I retell the story as we sit in the lot at the diner. 

"Oh God, Liv I'm so sorry."

"You want to know the ironic part? I was the one with Kathy when the baby was born."

That's when it happens. One single tear starts trailing its way down my cheek. Quickly I wipe it away hoping she didn't see it. 

"You must be going through hell now, aren't you?" She asks. 

"Sure feels it. Why didn't I ever tell him Alex? They were separated for two fucking years and I said nothing!"

"You're sure he's happy now?"

"He's got his wife back, why wouldn't he be?" I ask. 

"You should talk to him." She says. 

"And say what? 'El I know you're madly in love with your wife and I should've said this years ago. I love you, now why don't you go back to work on Stabler number six.'"

I can't help but chuckle as I watch her try not to laugh. I know she wants to, and not at me per say but at picturing me telling Elliot that. 

"Listen why don't you drop me off and go back home, invite him over for Chinese. If I know you two it'll come to you in no time what to say."

"Where exactly am I dropping you off Miss Cabot?" I ask. 

"I have some…umm…business to take care of at the station. Is that alright?" She blushes.

"Sure."

Having forgotten all about lunch I drive out of the diner's parking lot and over to the 1-6 to leave Alex off. Once she's where she needs to be I head for my apartment. 

Deciding I'd rather not interrupt round number God only knows with Kathy I try Elliot's cell phone again. This time I luck out and it rings twice before he answers. 

"_Stabler."_

"Hey, it's me." I whisper.

"_Liv? What's up?" _He asks. 

"If you're not too busy do you want to come over for some Chinese? Take a little break from baby duty."

"_Liv..." _He begins. 

"Never mind, of course you're busy. I'll see you around work when you come back." I say before ending the call. 

How could I be so stupid! Of course he's busy. He's probably just taking a break while Kathy feeds the baby before they go at it again. I don't know why I was even taking Alex's advice. 

Coming to the conclusion that I just want to mope around today I go start filling my tub for a nice long bubble bath. While the tub is filling I slip out of my clothes and pull my hair back out of my eyes with an elastic head band. Once my bath is ready I climb in, grab my bath pillow for under my neck and head, and lay back to relax. 

Before I know it 35 minutes have passed and I'm being awakened by the now cold water in my tub. Not being able to stand it any longer I get out of the tub and grab my most comfortable towels to wrap up in. I drain the tub and walk out of the bathroom wanting to just get to my bedroom and get in some comfortable lounging clothes.

"I see how it is Liv invite me for Chinese then you fall asleep in the tub." He says from my couch as I start to walk behind it on my way to my bedroom causing me to jump a foot in the air. 

"Fuck Elliot! You're lucky I don't have my Glock on me."

He peers over the back of the couch now and starts staring up and down every inch of my nearly naked body.

"I sure am lucky." I hear him mumble. 

"What are you doing here?" I ask. 

"I believe I was invited over for Chinese food. So here I am." He smirks. 

"Fine," I huff, "let me get changed and I'll order it."

"Or don't change." He says as he watches me walk out of the room. "I already ordered anyway!" He yells to me. 

I get to my bedroom, close the door, and lean against it. What the hell is he doing here now? I haven't seen or spoken to him in three weeks and suddenly he shows up wanting to be all 'buddy-buddy' with me. As I'm digging through my drawer for clothes to put on Alex telling me to talk to him keeps replaying in my mind. Whatever the reason, he's here and things can't possibly get worse can they? I grab a pair of lounge pants and a tank top out of my drawer and put those on. Before I got back out to the living room I also put on some light makeup. After one final glance in the mirror I'm off. 

"Here goes nothing." I mumble. 

When I walk out to the living room the buzzer's just going off signaling that our food has arrived. How long as Elliot been here anyway?

"Be down in a second!" Elliot says into the intercom. 

I grab my purse off the coffee table and hand him a twenty to pay before he goes downstairs to get the food. 

"I hope you ordered my favourite Stabler." I tell him as he walks back in my apartment. 

"Stabler? Ouch, you hurt me there Liv." He whines as he fakes a shot to the heart. "I did get your favourite."

I grab the bag and take out the carton filled with chicken and broccoli goodness and take my chopsticks and dig right in. As I start eating I sit back on the couch and rest my feet so that my toes are gripping the edge of the coffee table. 

"Pink Liv?" He asks mid bite of his General Tso's chicken.

"Hmm?"

I have no idea what the man is talking about. He puts his carton down on the coffee table and using both of his hands picks up my feet, swiveling me around so that they end up in his lap. 

"I never would've taken you for a girl with pink toenail polish."

Before I can comment he's got just my left foot in his hands and he's slowly massaging it. God that feels good. So damn good. He releases that foot and takes my right one giving it the same attention. It's only as his hands start sliding up under my pant leg and up my calf that I'm drawn out of the trance he has me in. 

"Elliot?"

"Don't even try and tell me you don't want this." He whispers as he takes the carton out of my hand and sets it with his. 

Oh man do I want this, hell I've wanted this for years. But not like this, not some extramarital affair. If I'm going to risk everything for him I need to know I'm getting all of him. 

"We can't do this." I urge him. 

"Why not?" He asks. 

"Why not! Elliot, you're married for one! For two we haven't even seen each other in three weeks and even before then things weren't good. Lastly, you were just fucking your wife this morning! What? She wasn't willing to go yet another round with you this afternoon so you figured you'd try me!" I yell getting up from the couch. 

"Liv, I haven't seen Kathy for longer than it takes to drop off or pick up Eli and the twins in over three weeks. So it sure as hell wasn't me fucking her. Sure you and I haven't seen each other in a while, I blame myself, but I thought we'd be okay."

He looks at me, pleading with me to understand, pleading with me to forget the past few weeks and just let what happens happen with us. I want to go for it, truly I do. 

"I need to know, you and Kathy…" I trail off, not quite able to ask fully. 

"It's over for good this time. Neither of us really wanted to be married again. We were only giving it a shot for Eli's sake. We realized we can be better parents to him actually if we're apart. I moved back out just before my vacation started. I've spent the majority of the three weeks getting settled back in to my apartment and figuring out what to do to make things right between us." He explains. 

"I don't know Elliot. I don't know that I can put my heart on the line. I do know that I can't give myself to us without wanting all of you in return." I say taking a seat back next to him. 

"Baby, were you not listening to me? You have all of me. Kathy and I are over. We never withdrew the divorce papers our court date was last week." He says. 

He reaches over and slips his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. With his free hand he gently turns my chin so that I'm looking deep into his eyes. 

"Please Livvie, give us a shot." He begs. "You and I both know you want to."

"I…"

He doesn't give me a chance to agree or disagree. He cuts me off with his lips attacking mine. He runs his tongue along the seam of my lips and I can't stop myself from falling into his kiss and granting him access. As his tongue duels with mine I can't help but let out a moan. 

"Liv, bedroom?" He asks breaking or kisses. 

I stand up from the couch and take his hand that I'm still holding and guide him to my bedroom. I don't know why and I know it may not be right but this sure as hell feels right. We get to my bedroom and all I can think about is living out a few of those dreams I've been having lately. Silently I ask him if he's sure about this. He just gives me a look that says he is. We start kissing again and soon he's trying to take my tank top off. He pulls it over my head and his eyes widen tremendously. I know he wasn't expecting no bra. 

"See something you like there Elliot?" I chuckle. 

"Most definitely."

We both innately know that foreplay is not necessary tonight and so we continue divesting each other of our clothes. When we're both finally naked we lay down in my bed, Elliot poised over me looking deep in my eyes. 

"I love you Liv. I have for as long as I can remember now, so deeply and so truly."

The way he says it, with the honesty I can see in his eyes I know it's true. As I feel him slide his cock deep in me I know without a doubt that my heart is healing. 

"I love you too El, for so long." I tell him. 

With my confession he begins thrusting in and out of me. No question about it, tonight is all about making love. It's all about healing what was broken between us. After what seems like forever but still not long enough, he's bringing me to my orgasm and working towards his own. 

When all is said and done there we lie, arms around each other, both happier than we've been in a long time. Both right where we want to be. 

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Ahh, now that that's out maybe I can focus on other things too. 


End file.
